After over a year of COVID 19, as a community we have had a lot of discussion surrounding the impacts on ourselves, our children, and our relationships. Undoubtedly, the pandemic has caused  tremendous ongoing damage to our mental health, social skills, and even daily functioning. Recently, I have been doing a lot of parental teaching and coaching throughout sessions. I am finding parents are struggling to return to the normalcy they had pre-pandemic through implementing schedules, house rules, and assisting their children in emotional regulation. How do co-create a healthy new normal? By taking small steps within your household, you can help increase positive mental health results for you and your children. 

Start by modeling the behaviors you want to see in your children. We can teach our kids emotional understanding and regulation by modeling these behaviors to them.  The next time you are having an age-appropriate feeling, label that feeling aloud to them, tell them why you feel the way that you do, and then explain to them what you are doing to cope with that distressing emotion. By labeling emotions and calm down skills, we are normalizing experiencing a range of feelings and teaching positive ways to handle the feelings. Becoming a parent doesn’t exempt you from having bad days, normalize taking breaks to calm down, implement self-care, and manage emotions in healthy ways. In addition to modeling wanted behaviors, create time to engage with your child one on one without distractions. Set aside time everyday to spend doing an activity you and your child enjoys. With the busy lives we lead, this time we’ll need to be protected. Balance focused time with your child with time for independent play which helps increase personal autonomy and is equally as important! Independent playtime is a good time for you, as a parent, to take a quick break to go to the bathroom alone (LOL), take a couple deep breaths, or do a quick self care activity that helps recharge your battery. Let’s reflect on how to redirect or correct our children. Some days, it feels like “no” is the only word in our vocabulary. Small changes in wording can help create a more positive environment. For example, instead of saying “Stop running,” you can offer alternatives like, “Walking feet,” or “Outside is a good place to run, would you like to go out there?” Planned ignoring a behavior that is not unsafe, but is not ideal could be an alternative to providing a verbal redirection. This leads us to establish consistent house rules. Rules should be explicitly talked about and reinforced. When rules are not consistently reinforced, children experience confusion and urges to see if they will be able to get away with the unwanted behavior. Start small by establishing a few rules you feel are most important within your house. Finally, reward the positive behaviors! Children thrive on hearing they are doing a good- practice reinforcing the behaviors you want to see by drawing attention to them and giving specific praise. By saying “Good job,” when you see your child doing something positive, this can leave your child confused or assuming what they are doing a good job at, instead say “You are doing a great job of coloring within the line and taking your time.” 

By slowly implementing these skills consistently, you will create a more positive environment within your household. I am preparing to lead a group focused on more in-depth interventions and assistance to address the issues we are experiencing post-COVID. 

Please contact me to schedule a parenting session or to sign up for our Parenting group beginning in September 2021 @ [email protected] !