“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” -Carl Rogers
In March, one of our therapists, Ashlie Cox, started a 10-week journey toward self- acceptance in a group psychotherapy setting. This was our first group to take place at our practice and we are thrilled to share the experience with you!
Ashlie developed group curriculum focusing on self-acceptance, perfectionism, and people pleasing. The group consisted of 9 women: ages 18 to 45 years old. Each woman had something in common- they based their self-worth off of the perceptions and approval of others.
Group met every Wednesday evening from 6:15 to 7:30 pm. Each member was provided a binder of material which they took home to continue the healing process outside of the group sessions.
Each week a new topic was introduced. The group discussed aspects of boundaries, communication, self-compassion, perfectionism, the imposter syndrome, inner critic, negative core beliefs, and much more! The topics were tied back to how being a “people pleaser” affects our relationships with not only others, but also ourselves.
By the 8th week, women began to express their desire for the group to continue after 10 weeks. Women were setting boundaries with people who they were caught in toxic cycles with, they were building tolerance to unpleasant emotions/feelings, and they were forming genuine relationships with the other group members. During the groups 10-week time frame, they were asked to not add each other on social media or to search one another. The women were creating a bond through vulnerable conversations, support of one another, reflecting on past events that caused pain, and having a safe space to heal.
During this time frame, women communicated the connections they were able to make with one another. Though they did not have the same exact childhood or life, they all were stuck in a cycle of putting other people first at the cost of their own identity.
Today, those 9 women have discussed volunteering together, are connected on social media, and continue to use the group material to maintain their growth.
Why were these women able to manage a tremendous amount of personal growth and healing? They started to see that every time they put someone before themselves, they were losing a little bit of their identity. In 10 weeks, they learned how to accept themselves as is, in order to then grow into the person, they want to be.
Feedback and reviews on the group reported it was “totally transformational” and “life changing”.
We look forward to starting more groups in the future with a various number of topics to choose from. Ashlie is hoping to begin a Men’s group in mid- August.
